Don't be afraid?

Ok,

so where do I begin, I really don't know where, except to say that right now my life is in mid air. I am working on growing and learning. Last Sabbath our pastor gave a sermon on how it is important to know Jesus and to rely only on Him. I believe that in this day in age when fear is raging that it is important to trust in the only one who holds tommorow, or so I thought. That's the crazy part about it! Sabbath I learned that I can still be jealous and selfish, and sunday I learned that I have problems with managing my time. These are things that I thought I had worked out... oh, and that fear of thunderstorms I have always had still is in my life. Last night was a perfect example of that. I went to bed and was awoken, by a huge clap of thunder. I got up to hear rain pelting the side of the window and leaking through our roof falling on the TV. In my mind I could remembered the words of the Pastor, that it is important to trust in God, but for some reason, I could seem to grasp on, and the storm seemed to get worse. Finally I found myself regressing back to an old pattern of behavior that I seem to have and hiding in the basement. While in the basement my eyes caught a book that was up on a top shelf with cob-webs on it. I opened it up and began to read. The book turned out to be a devotional, and had to do with fear. The devotional was by H.M.S. Richards and it talked about how, even when the sun is behind the clouds and life does not seem to be working out the greatest, we need to hold onto our faith in God. "Hold on!?" I thought "Hold on when life seems to be falling apart around me, when I don't know if I'll ever get back to college to continue my life, when I'm unsure if I'm even going to be in the Kingdom, when my mind is driving me crazy and I can't seem to make sense of my thoughts, when my rebelious heart keeps pulling me away from God, when I could die the next second. The devotional for the day ended with a talk about Martain Luther and his death. Martin Luther woke up terrified one night and was afraid that he was going to die, and went into a depression for a while. After a while, a friend came to see him and asked him if he still had faith in God. Martin gasped out a faint "Yes I do" and then fell asleep in Jesus. Faith was what got him through. Then the devotional ended, and fear still held on, but somehow a thought began to repeat in my mind, "I need to have faith in God even when things are not turning out the way that I want them to, even when it is unsure if I will go to college, even when my mind is driving me crazy and I can't seem to make sense of my thoughts, even when I am not sure if I will even be in the Kingdom of Heaven, even when I am afraid that I am going to die, I need to hold onto faith in God. Maybe it's the same way with you, maybe your life is uncertain and you aren't sure what's going to happen to you next. Please have faith in God, ask for faith, pray for it, the Lord will give it to you, He never turns down anyone who comes to Him. Don't worry about how bad your life may have been up to this point, have faith! Have FAITH when life is uncertain because God is not uncertain!!!!!!!! HAVE FAITH IN JESUS:)